The needling and the damage done

Lovely friends, how are you doing?

The chill of autumn is here and, annoyingly, Covid-19 is still refusing to be summarily ejected from the planet. Here in the UK we’re crashing into the second wave as expected, the ‘new normal’ remaining anything but.

There’s been a lot of talk in business circles over the last six months about online communication – Zoom in particular – and how to navigate it like a boss.

Let’s get the obvious out of the way: online activity has assumed increasing, if not vital, importance for anyone operating during the pandemic. With that move has come continued connectivity and productivity.

But there are issues. This period of isolation has been increasingly revelatory of human behaviour, and the results aren’t always nice.

Back to the classroom
Recently, a Twitter thread discussed the ‘new joy’ of running a WhatsApp conversation with select members of an online meeting alongside a Zoom call.

I’m not sure how I feel about this. It seems at best exclusionary. In online meetings of course there’s usually an opportunity for back-channel conversation via private messages; but a whole group set up on a separate, encrypted platform?

It makes you wonder what might be happening:

Zoom: Super, thanks for the update on that, Sam. OK, let’s move on to the figures for this quarter: Jo, how have we done?

WhatsApp: Whoa, Jo’s looking rough today… Someone get her a coffee!

Jo might be looking that way because she’s had to homeschool the kids, worry about her at-risk parents and get those figures together on an increasing sleep deficit since lockdown.

Zoom: That demographic’s low-hanging fruit, it’ll be great for our new line.

WhatsApp: Bingo! Haha, my card’s full!

There is some merit in this observation (jargonistas, take note!). But seriously, how it’s manifesting here is questionable.

The idea of a group commenting secretly on a business meeting is disturbing, like passing notes and sniggering behind schoolmates’ backs.

Don’t feed the troll
What is more concerning is trolling in professional online spaces. Put it this way: when we’re away from the outside world, it’s all too easy for the filter to be off. To fire volleys that would never be aimed at others, were they sitting right there in front of us.

It’s also all too easy to underestimate the harm which can be inflicted by denigrating or abusive comment, especially when the damage isn’t visible. When everyone is feeling the negative effects of a global meltdown, it’s key to put just that little bit more thought, care and consideration into online interactions.

Be nice
The solution is actually quite simple: make nice, even if we don’t feel like it. Button lips, step away from the keyboard if hands are itching to type something negative.

As for online meetings, it’s a good idea to avoid showing irritation – after all, it’s just a few minutes out of our lives. Everyone has to do it in a real room, and meeting over the interwebs is no different.

If basic etiquette is that much of a problem, perhaps it’s a cue for self-reflection. We don’t have to consider others’ contributions upstaging, an affront to intelligence or tedious. Instead, we can reframe the situation and lean in.

It could be that exchanging viewpoints or information might help push an idea in a new direction, give a fresh perspective on a problem, or help someone present with a handy resource. Patience is a virtue: there should be no eyerolling when it comes to sharing.

Be inclusive
When individuals are quiet at a meeting, it’s useful to make a point of asking them what they think and give them a chance to speak. That doesn’t mean hogging screen time; just an open, equal and supportive platform for all.

Of course, some may want to listen, cogitate and follow up on a different channel later. Plus individual communication style varies: thinking first and commenting afterwards can be more comfortable or appropriate. And that’s absolutely fine.

Injecting energy into an online gathering staves off boredom, and that comes from a variety of characters and insight. (A bit of humour never goes amiss, either.)

The important thing is that everyone feels welcome to be present and heard respectfully, regardless of the agenda.

Be kind
During these dark times, it’s simply decent to consider kindness the order of the day. Some in our community may be struggling privately, no matter the brave face they might be presenting to the world.

Besides, souring a collegial or business interaction is never OK. It creates division, hostility and exclusion where good feeling should be nurtured and free to thrive.

It also presents a pretty poor picture of individuals as potential service providers, which is a particularly crucial issue for us as freelance creatives. If we see a colleague or business contact behaving that way online, would we feel happy referring them to a client or admitting them to our own trusted network?

This is the reality of the current situation in which we find ourselves, and are likely to for some time to come. Connecting well, and imbuing our online presence with empathy and emotional intelligence, are now more important than ever when few, if any, have the luxury of safe, in-person contact.

As the old adage goes: